I’ve been studying the psychology and dynamics of relationships for two decades now and have been asked recently what crystals are best to use for drawing the right relationship into our life.
There are several I could recommend, but crystals aren’t going to help much if we don’t understand and know what our CORE VALUES are.
Core values are what we have been brought up to consider essential to our daily lives and relationships. They could be such things as whether or not to have children, how important decisions are made, how money is handled, religious beliefs, honesty, fidelity, integrity, how intimacy is expressed or a myriad of other important factors in our lives.
Core Values are set by our upbringing, where and how we are raised, by our parents and peers. Some may be social, others political or cultural ~ they are also ancestoral, passed down from generation to generation. However, they can also change during our lives….usually in our thirties after we’ve experienced unhealthy relationships on some level. At that point, we then start to explore what is important to US as it may not be the same things that were important to our parents. After all, society is changing so rapidly and as we grow, what worked twenty years ago may not work for us now.
So whether you’re in your early 20’s and wanting to draw the right relationship into your life…..or in your 30’s or 40’s and have had enough unhealthy or failed relationships to wonder ‘what on earth am I doing wrong’….its good to check in, work out and be aware of what your CORE VALUES are.
Once we’re aware of our core values, we can then make that the focus for manifesting a healthy, happy relationship. If we focus on external qualities such as material wealth, looks, fashion sense or taste in music, we could be setting ourselves up for heartache. We could have the best looking partner who earns lots of money, is independent, has a great car and lovely family ~ but if their core values are different to ours, then the relationship simply will not work. We have to release the external qualities and focus on the internal qualities in order to achieve a happy relationship. Thats not to say looks aren’t important ~ having an attractive partner who can be shown off and praised can even BE a core value…..but the core values of two people have to be similar in order for a relationship to work long term.
Core values represent WHO WE ARE and WHAT WE NEED. Just because we may know what is important to us and what we value in life, doesn’t mean to say we know what our true core values are ~ core values are HOW we live our lives. The reason its good to explore what our core values are is whilst some of them may progress & help our lives, others may hinder us and hold us back. Some core values are flexible and fluid, whilst others are set in stone and unbreakable. Many will change over time as we absorb and process the opinions and experiences of other people, whilst others become stronger and deeper set as we experience life.
If you think this is a load of waffle, psychology and ‘head stuff’, consider this:
- How would you feel if one of your core values was having quality family time and you ended up with a partner whose job required they work extra hours, on weekends and socialising outside of work on a regular basis?
- How would you feel if one of your core values was being authentic, but you ended up in a college, group of friends or work place where people gossiped constantly, talked behind each others backs and lied to each other?
- How would you feel if being treated with respect was one of your core values and you ended up with a partner who ignored you, spoke to you like you were dirt, belittled or bullied you?
- How would you feel if freedom were one of your core values and you ended up in a relationship with a partner who was bossy, told you what to do & made decisions for you ~ even with the best of intentions?
Core values are important. Fact.
Next week I’ll blog a simple, fun exercise that anyone can do to discover what the six most important core values are in your life. Its a really interesting exercise to do with friends or your partner.
Once you know what your core values are, if you want to manifest a healthy relationship, then your core values should be the main focus of manifestation or creative visualisation. I’ll also recommend the best crystals to use to support the exercise and to draw the right person into your life for the relationship of your dreams. It is possible….all it takes is focusing on the right things 😉
Much love and cosmic cuddles